(Wo)men should have the right to choose
Calgary Herald, Ben Hoffman, Thursday, March 16, 2006
In an effort to make the value-of-a-fetus debate more ridiculous-which is, as noted by the inexorable Ben Li, a nigh-insurmountable goal at this point-a group of men in the United States has decided to take issue with current abortion legislation; specifically, how the legislation is (of course) unfair to dudes.
Apparently, designing terrible websites and sitting in their tree forts plotting sinister misdeeds against the fairer sex wasn't enough, and so the National Center for Men devised a way to cement their "never getting laid again" plan, which they have dubbed "Roe v Wade for Men (TM)".
This truly baffling piece of argumentative technology suggests--brace for it--that if women have the right to choose whether or not a child is going to be born, a man should have a choice whether or not he has to pay child support to the mother of the unwanted hellion. And thus falls the entire conflict so irretrievably deep into the argumentum ad nauseum zone that all the semanticists in the world couldn't fix it.
What is anyone even trying to say any more. We've now implicated God, Hitler, money, the KKK, freedom and I'm sure at least 15 other things in the thought process of making an abortion; and if you're thinking about any of them while you dance horizontally, you have more immediate concerns than the potential baby.
At the end of the day, how comfortable anyone is with the little mistakes of the world is purely personal. Pro-lifers, calling your contraries Nazis is possibly the least sound vector of attack that could be constructed; Pro-choicers, you don't have to be smug about your philosophy, as I'm sure none of you would be out advocating the choice to eat live kittens; NCfM guys--wow, your stupidity is mind-boggling.
As with every tough case, context reigns king. It's unfortunate that context is a concept and not a person, though, because if our almighty king of the hard ones had the capability to speak, I'm quite sure by now it would be screaming "just shut up, all of you."
Go ahead, though, get your last words in...
Calgary Herald 2006


