Would you wear the jacket?

Commentary

THERE IS A story I used to find hilarious in my high school years about a not too bright man. He was light skinned, his wife was of similar hue, but their first child was born with very dark complexion (darker dan Bello, blacker dan Blakka).

When the man wondered aloud about the baby's complexion his wife assured him that the child was born dark because the child was conceived in darkness (they had sex with the lights off). The man accepted the explanation. Because he loved his wife dearly, he also ignored the fact that the child had other obvious signs of resemblance to the young dark skinned man who did their gardening. To fix the problem, the husband put flood lights, strobe lights, spotlights and forty other lights in the bed room so there would be no Read More .. darkness to create dark babies.

During their first love making session in the lighted bedroom, the wife closed her eyes momentarily (that moment when we men think "oh God! I'm sending her into ecstasy, I am the original wukka man!" and women are probably thinking "oh God! What a man boring? Why him won't hurry up and done?"). Well the husband saw her closed eyes and screeched to a sudden stop. "Open your damn eyes when we making love!" he demanded. "Wi first pickney born dark, now you want di next one born blind?"

UNDER-COVER TAILORS

But don't laugh, it's really a serious thing! A big problem in Jamaica that nobody wants to talk about publicly is the extent to which many of our women are under-cover tailors. In other words, deliberately or inadvertently "dem give man jacket". Or as model single father and male parenting activist Lanny Davidson puts it, they commit "Paternity Fraud". I wonder if a man can sue a woman fi dat?

Most paternity tests done in Jamaica are done because men are brought to the family court accused of being "wutless" (breed woman and won't mind dem pickney). When the men argue that their reluctance to provide maintenance is due to suspicion of a "jacket" job, the court may order a paternity test (emphasis on the may). Most times the court just orders the men to shut up and pay up! I think men rarely get a fair chance in family court cases...but that's another box altogether.

According to my sources, out of every 100 DNA tests done at UHWI, 34 per cent prove that the man accused is NOT the father of the child. And the test costs around US$500, way out of the reach of the average man. So if court nuh order it, a man who cannot afford to prove he is not the father, can end up wearing a jacket and spending his life thinking "a wonder if me is really junior father?"

Trust me, a idiot ting dat! Of course, I know men who won't end up on the Maury show, but who will tell you "star, me love my woman and if she buck her toe and breed fi a next man, if she apologise and admit it me will forgive her and wear my jacket proudly". Now is that a real man or what?

So brethren, what kind a man are you? Would you wear the jacket or sue the tailor?