Soon after coming to North
America, I discovered my spouse was having an affair with her co-worker. I'd suspected her infidelity before
we moved — our first child doesn't resemble me. I followed her and saw her enter a stranger's car. He drove
her home late every night and picked her up every morning. I saw e-mails to her from her boyfriend, love
notes/cards, and a letter she wrote to her aunt about her plan to marry him. I don't feel responsible for
her newborn second child because she mostly doesn't allow me near her, and she was sleeping with this guy.
She's refused DNA testing of the kids, saying that if they were proved to be mine, she'd take them away and
never allow me to see them again. I say she can do whatever she likes, but I insist on DNA. She's
troublesome and untrustworthy.
Mr. Frustrated
Answer:
I empathize with your frustration, but this household mess is heading for internal combustion unless you take the next step. See a
lawyer to discuss separation and your responsibilities to the children. For me, the saddest thing is your
emotional distance from the kids in your home, based on your conviction they aren't yours. Yes, the
infidelity is your wife's doing. You've expressed no love for her, so getting on with your life without her
seems a logical solution. But the children deserve two parents involved in their live.
Family law expert Linda Silver Dranoff says the courts will decide custody and access based on the children's best interests. "Since
to them, he's their father, he won't be excluded from their lives." If necessary, the court will order DNA
testing. She says that if there's a different biological father, both he and you (having accepted the
father's role and responsibilities so far) must pay child support, if claims are made against either of you.
The position of the
Canadian Children's Rights Council:
We find the answer provided to this
letter to "Ask Nellie" to totally disregard the rights of 5 people and to support a woman's fraudulent
paternity representations that the children of her marriage were her husband's children.
The 2 children involved have the right to
know and have a relationship with their biological fathers under the U.N. Convention on the Rights of
The Child and other human rights legislation provided for in the constitutions of countries around the
world. Their rights have been violated.
The 2 biological fathers have the right
to the society of their children. The husband who has been deceived has lost years of his life raising
children in a fraudulent circumstance. Further he will suffer substantial financial loss resulting from
past and future child financial support for the other men's children because of the fraud.
The children's identity rights should be
the 1st concern. The state should require this woman to prove the identity of the biological fathers and
to notify them immediately of the fraud perpetrated against them.
This columnist states "Couple
must put children first".
Perhaps she should be advising the husband to seek out the children's fathers with the help of the
courts and to sue the wife for all costs incurred for lawyers, time off work, past financial support
etc.
In Australia, the deceived father ( the paternity fraud victim ) would
have the feral government child support agency collect back his child support payments after the divorce
or separation but his portion of the reasonable costs of raising the child while the mother and father
lived together.
In addition, there have been a number of successful damage lawsuits in
France, Korea and Australian by deceived men who sued for damages which are separate and apart from the
recovery of the cost to raise the child.
The article contains info about children's identity fraud at The Hospital
for Sick Children in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
December 14, 2002.
Includes interview with employees of Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto,
Ontario, Canada who admit they deny children's identity information to husbands/male
partners of mothers who want to hide the real identity of their child because
they had an affair. The U.N. Convention on the Rights of The Child specifically
supports a child's human right to have a relationship with both his/her
biological parents. In addition, this article is proof that The Hospital
for Sick Children ("Sick Kids") supports paternity fraud.
Further "Sick Kids" supports a mother's rights only, which they view,
supersedes 3 other people's rights, namely, the rights of the biological
father, the rights of the mother's male partner/husband and the child's
identity rights.
Up to one in 25 dads could unknowingly
be raising another man's child, UK health researchers estimate.
Increasing use of genetic testing for medical and legal reasons means
Read More ..uples are discovering the biological proof of who fathered the child.
The Liverpool John Moores University team reached its estimate based on
research findings published between 1950 and 2004.
The study appears in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.
Biological father
Professor Mark Bellis and his team said that the implications of so-called
paternal discrepancy were huge and largely ignored, even though the
incidence was increasing.
In the US, the number of paternity tests increased from 142,000 in 1991 to
310,490 in 2001.
An adulterous Spanish woman who conceived three children with her
lover has been ordered to pay £177,000 in 'moral damages' to her
husband.
The cuckolded man had believed that the three children were his until
a DNA test eventually proved they were fathered by another man.
The husband, who along with the other man cannot be named for legal
reasons to protect the children's identities, suspected his second wife
may have been unfaithful in 2001.
BEAUTIFUL women who have affairs can now blame it on their sex hormones.
Women with higher levels of oestradiol, a form of oestrogen, not only
look and feel more attractive, they are also more likely to cheat on their
partners, a new study has found.
One-night-stands are not what interest these flirtatious females, who
tend to have bigger breasts, relatively small waists and symmetrical faces
as a result of their high levels of oestradiol.
Rather, they adopt a strategy of serial monogamy, say the researchers,
led by Kristina Durante of the University of Texas.
Paternity Fraud & the Criminal Code of Canada
Paternity fraud: Is it or should it be a criminal offence under the Criminal Code of Canada?
Feminist organizations including the National Organization of Women (NOW)
has objected to legislation that requires the courts to vacate paternity
judgments against men who arent, in fact, the father.
Think about that. NOW wants some man, any man, to make child support
payments. The woman who doesnt even know who the father is, should not be
held responsible for her actions, is a sweet, loving, blameless mother who
seeks only to care for her child and if naming some schmuck as father who
never saw her before in his life helps her provide for the innocent babe,
well then, that's fine.
Last year, more than 3,000 DNA paternity tests were commissioned by
Australian men, and in almost a quarter of those cases, the test revealed that not only had their partners been
unfaithful, but the children they thought were theirs had been sired by someone else.Read More ..
The fairytale that saw Federal Health Minister Tony Abbott reunited with the son he thought he had given up for
adoption 27 years ago, ABC sound-recordist Daniel O'Connor, ended this week when DNA tests confirmed another man had
fathered Mr O'Connor.
The revelations were devastating for all involved, not least Mr O'Connor.
Still reeling from the emotional reunion with his mother, Kathy Donnelly, and Mr Abbott a few months ago, a simple
test of truth has thrown the trio into disarray a situation familiar to thousands of other Australians.
Paternity testing in Australia is a burgeoning industry.
The simplicity of the test cells are collected from a mouth swab grossly underestimates the seriousness of the
situation.
Proposed new laws will make it easier for fathers to recover child maintenance
payments if DNA testing reveals that they are not the child's father.
The Family Law Amendment Bill 2005 allows people who wrongly believed they
were the parent of a child to recover any child maintenance paid or property
transferred under an order of a court under the Family Law Act 1975 .
"The bill is intended to make it easier for people who find themselves in
this position to take recovery action without the need to initiate separate
proceedings for an order from a court of civil jurisdiction, such as a State,
Local or Magistrates court," Attorney-General Philip Ruddock said.
An acid sense of betrayal has been gnawing at Damon Adams since a DNA test showed that he is not the father of a
10-year-old girl born during his former marriage.
"Something changes in your heart," says Adams, 51, a dentist in Traverse City, Mich. "When she walks through the
door, you're seeing the product of an affair."
But Michigan courts have spurned the DNA results Adams offered in his motions to stop paying $23,000 a year in child
support. Now, Adams is lobbying the state Legislature for relief and joining other men in a national movement
against what they call "paternity fraud." Read More ..
Up to three million Britons may be wrong
about who their real father is , experts claim. But using DNA paternity
tests to discover the truth can cause its own problems.
BBC, U.K., May 16, 2003
Dad's got blue eyes, Baby brown...
When Tessa found out she was pregnant after fertility treatment, she felt
a mix of delight and doubt.
This wasn't simply pre-baby nerves - she suspected that her husband might
not be the father. For Tessa had started sleeping with a colleague when the
stress of the ongoing treatment became too much.
Keen to build a family with her husband, she let him believe the baby was
his. But her lover threatened to reveal all if she ended the affair, and Tessa
soon fell pregnant again. This time, her lover started to make nuisance calls
to her home.
Tessa had no choice but to tell her husband. "I said to him, 'I've had an
affair and you may not be the father of my children.' So with that, he went
up the stairs, got dressed and left. And that was it," Tessa says in Women Who
Live a Lie, a programme for the BBC's Five Live Report.
THERE IS A story I used to find hilarious in my high school years about
a not too bright man. He was light skinned, his wife was of similar hue,
but their first child was born with very dark complexion (darker dan Bello,
blacker dan Blakka).
When the man wondered aloud about the baby's complexion his wife assured
him that the child was born dark because the child was conceived in darkness
(they had sex with the lights off). The man accepted the explanation. Because
he loved his wife dearly, he also ignored the fact that the child had other
obvious signs of resemblance to the young dark skinned man who did their
gardening. To fix the problem, the husband put flood lights, strobe lights,
spotlights and forty other lights in the bed room so there would be no more
darkness to create dark babies.
"Supporters of paternity
identification bills point to a 1999 study by the American Association of
Blood Banks that found that in 30 percent of 280,000 blood tests performed
to determine paternity, the man tested was not the biological father."
Read More ..
Michael Lautar was devastated when he
learned his first wife was cheating on him,
and then crushed to discover the then
5-year-old girl who called him "Daddy"
wasn't really his daughter.
Next came the sucker punch.
Lautar is under court order to pay nearly $800 a month in
child support and other expenses, despite the fact his
ex-wife has admitted in Allegheny County court papers that
Lautar is not the girl's father. The child was born during
their marriage. After the couple divorced, the mother
married the girl's biological father. The mother, the father
and the daughter live together in Moon, according to papers
filed in Allegheny County Common Pleas Court.
"I'm stuck in this rip-off, this fraud," said Lautar, 40,
of North Strabane. "It's paternity fraud, is what it is. ...
And the state is enforcing this fraud."
Lack of free Family Court Ordered DNA Paternity testing abuses Dads and Kids.
"The Labour Government is abusing fathers and children by failing to legislate for free DNA testing
to establish paternity", is how Jim Nicolle, spokesperson for the New Zealand Child Support Reform
Network, responds to United Futures call for Family Court Ordered DNA paternity tests.
A men's rights group has called for mandatory paternity testing
of all babies after government figures revealed almost 600 instances of
men compelled to financially support children they did not father.
Since changes to child support laws four years ago, there had been 586
cases of men successfully using DNA testing to show they were not biologically
related to children they had been financially supporting, the federal government
has revealed to The Australian.
The Visayan Daily Star, Bacolod City, Philippines, BY CARLA GOMEZ, February 28, 2009
Bacolod Regional Trial Court Judge Ray Alan Drilon has annulled the marriage of a Negrense couple after a DNA test showed that the child borne by the wife was not the biological offspring of the husband who works abroad.
The family court judge ruled that the marriage of the couple, whose names are being withheld by the DAILY STAR on the request of the court, was null and void.
Due to fraud committed by the wife in getting her overseas worker husband to marry her, properties acquired during their marriage are awarded in favor of the husband, the judge said in his decision, a copy of which was furnished the DAILY STAR yesterday.
The judge also declared that since the overseas worker is not the biological, much less the legitimate father of the child of the woman, the Civil Registrar is ordered to change the surname of the child to the mother's maiden name and remove the name of the plaintiff as father of the child.
The complainant said he was working as an electronics engineer in the United Arab Emirates and on his return to the Philippines in 2001, his girlfriend of 10 years with whom he had sex, showed him a pregnancy test result showing that she was pregnant.
On receiving the news he was overjoyed and offered to marry her. Shortly after he went to Saudi Arabia to work, and his wife gave birth to a baby girl in the same year.
The birth of the child only five months after their marriage puzzled him but his wife told him that the baby was born prematurely, so he believed her, the husband said.
Read More ..
From correspondents in Rio de Janeiro Agence France-Presse
September 18, 2007
A BRAZILIAN woman has been ordered by the country's Supreme Court to pay
a hefty fine to her husband for failing to mention that he was not the
father of two of their children.
The Rio de Janeiro woman, whose identity was not disclosed, was ordered
to pay her husband over $US100,000 ($120,170 Australian Dollars) for having hidden from him for
almost two decades that the children in question were fathered by a lover,
the court's offices said yesterday.
The husband also had sought damages from his wife's lover, the court
said.
CHICAGO (AP) A woman accused of using her lover's sperm to impregnate herself
without his knowledge can be held liable for the unwitting father's emotional pain, the Illinois
Appellate Court has ruled.
In the ruling released Wednesday, a three-judge panel reinstated part of a lawsuit against Sharon
Irons, a doctor from Olympia Fields. The ruling sends the case back to Cook County Circuit Court.
Irons was sued by her former lover, Chicago family physician Richard O. Phillips, who accused her of a
"calculated, profound personal betrayal" of him after a brief affair they had six years ago.
A pregnant woman has a duty of care not to tell a sexual partner he
is the father of her unborn child if it is possible another man is the
real father a District Court judge has ruled.
And mother-of-three, Kellie Gray, of Pinjarra, was negligent in not
having a paternity test done as soon as her son was born, Judge John
Wisbey said in his judgement in a damages action by a father who turned
out not to be the father.
Rodney Macdonald, of Kewdale, claimed damages of about $70,000AUD from
Ms Gray on the grounds that he was tricked into believing he was the
father of her son. He gave up a well paid mining job to move to Perth to
be nearer the child.
I read a USA Today article on child support by Martin Kasindorf entitled,
Men wage battle on 'paternity fraud'. Paternity fraud is when a woman
names the wrong man as a father for the purpose of forcing him to pay child
support. The words 'paternity fraud' were in quotes as if they referred to someone's
questionable characterization rather than a straightforward fact. This might
have moved me to let out a long sigh except that I knew it would not
have been worth the trouble. I know from experience that 'paternity fraud' would
not have been in quotes unless we were being prepared for some unadulterated
bullshit.
The position of the Canadian Children's Rights Council:
We find the answer provided to this letter to "Ask Nellie" to totally disregard the rights of 5 people and to support a woman's fraudulent paternity representations that the children of her marriage were her husband's children.
The 2 children involved have the right to know and have a relationship with their biological fathers under the U.N. Convention on the Rights of The Child and other human rights legislation provided for in the constitutions of countries around the world. Their rights have been violated.
The 2 biological fathers have the right to the society of their children. The husband who has been deceived has lost years of his life raising children in a fraudulent circumstance. Further he will suffer substantial financial loss resulting from past and future child financial support for the other men's children because of the fraud.
The children's identity rights should be the 1st concern. The state should require this woman to prove the identity of the biological fathers and to notify them immediately of the fraud perpetrated against them.
This columnist states "Couple must put children first". Perhaps she should be advising the husband to seek out the children's fathers with the help of the courts and to sue the wife for all costs incurred for lawyers, time off work, past financial support etc.
In Australia, the deceived father ( the paternity fraud victim ) would have the feral government child support agency collect back his child support payments after the divorce or separation but his portion of the reasonable costs of raising the child while the mother and father lived together.
In addition, there have been a number of successful damage lawsuits in France, Korea and Australian by deceived men who sued for damages which are separate and apart from the recovery of the cost to raise the child.